{"id":17030,"date":"2024-06-11T12:23:56","date_gmt":"2024-06-11T11:23:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/?p=17030"},"modified":"2024-06-11T12:29:15","modified_gmt":"2024-06-11T11:29:15","slug":"char-ellesses-vision-of-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/char-ellesses-vision-of-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Char Ellesse&#8217;s Vision Of Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"17030\" class=\"elementor elementor-17030\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-3dc32e0d elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"3dc32e0d\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-79a3373b\" data-id=\"79a3373b\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-409d086c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"409d086c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.6.6 - 08-06-2022 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#818a91;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#818a91;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p><b>What is your definition of love?<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My definition of love is a full understanding and acceptance of someone. It\u2019s a never-ending journey towards a feeling of euphoria, whether that\u2019s to do with yourself, something that you love, or someone that you love. It&#8217;s just this warm feeling of euphoria.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><b>How soon do you know if you like a person?<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It really depends on the person, and it definitely varies from person to person, and also depends on what type of love it is, and what type of relationship it is. But I think in general it&#8217;s just as soon as I have a feeling of being comfortable. Also, one thing that I pick up on is whether my inner child comes out around that person. I think that&#8217;s when it\u2019s like, \u201cYeah, okay, you really love this person.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><b>What is more important to you? Romantic love or other kinds of love?<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In terms of the importance of different types of love, I feel like other types of love, over romantic love, are important to me. I think the foundation of loving yourself through other people is quite risky when it&#8217;s only premised on romantic love. So for me personally, I focus on my friendships and my family. A really important person to me is my sister; we feel like twins, even though there are six years between us. But that, to me, is one of the most important loves that I have. I think that trumps all, as long as I have my sister and my best friend in my life, then I feel fulfilled in love.<\/span><\/p><figure id=\"attachment_17056\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-17056\" style=\"width: 1325px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-17056\" src=\"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4_5-9.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1325\" height=\"1730\" srcset=\"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4_5-9.jpg 1325w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4_5-9-230x300.jpg 230w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4_5-9-784x1024.jpg 784w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4_5-9-768x1003.jpg 768w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4_5-9-1176x1536.jpg 1176w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1325px) 100vw, 1325px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-17056\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photography by @mylothecreative<\/figcaption><\/figure><p><b>How has this perception of love, and of being so close to these people in your life, influenced your work?\u00a0<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The love that I have received from people, who in turn I love so much, definitely influences my work, because I feel like it is at the heart of everything that I do. My best friend and my sister are always helping me \u2013\u00a0my sister feels like the other half of my brain and she is definitely a really important factor in everything that I do.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><b>How have your relationships shaped your work?<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Relationships, whether they are romantic, friendship or family, have shaped my work, because since I was younger I have always been obsessed with connecting with people, and I am constantly intrigued by other people\u2019s stories and even just seeing how their brains work. At the forefront of the work that I do with <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/girlswillbeboys_\/?hl=en\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">girlswillbeboys<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is this idea of passing the mic so that other people can share their experiences.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Through having different types of relationships, I&#8217;ve met different types of people, and that has opened my eyes to different worlds and modes of thinking. So it&#8217;s definitely influenced me in the sense of it making me intrigued and wanting to learn more, grow more and just open my eyes to different people&#8217;s realities. And I wouldn&#8217;t have that if I hadn\u2019t connected with so many different types of people through relationships.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My mum was very influential in how I love<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><p><b>Do you think your conception of love has been socially conditioned?<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t think my conception or perception of love has been socially conditioned. I feel like actually it has come from my mum, my nan, and the relationship that I have with my family. That&#8217;s where I first experienced love. I feel like there are some ideas of what I feel I want, or I am missing, that I can see in other people&#8217;s version of love, and sometimes I do take that on. But because my first experience of love came from my mum, and my family, then that&#8217;s where I always go back to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><figure id=\"attachment_17054\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-17054\" style=\"width: 1325px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-17054\" src=\"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4-10.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1325\" height=\"1325\" srcset=\"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4-10.jpg 1325w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4-10-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4-10-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4-10-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/4-10-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1325px) 100vw, 1325px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-17054\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photography by @mylothecreative<\/figcaption><\/figure><p><b>What is the kind of love that your family, and your mum specifically, instilled in you?<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My mum was very influential in how I love. I don&#8217;t want to make myself cry, but she has always pushed this idea of unconditional love and acceptance. She always says that, even if she doesn&#8217;t understand something, she&#8217;ll respect it. That is how I&#8217;ve moved forward in loving other people; taking the time, even if I cannot fully understand something, to at least respect it. That&#8217;s definitely a massive influence from the way that my mum loves me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She will always be proud of you, no matter what you do, as long as you&#8217;re a good person \u2013 she always said, \u201cThe only thing I wished for when I had kids was that they would be good people.\u201d She\u2019s like a warm hug. I think that&#8217;s definitely influenced me because everyone has flaws, and you can&#8217;t understand everyone if it&#8217;s not your own experience, but if you can at least respect it, then it&#8217;s easier to reach some kind of middle ground.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><b>How has that early love that you learnt evolved as you\u2019ve grown up and been exposed to different types of people and scenarios?<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;ve definitely struggled a lot with self-love and romantic relationships, even though I had the foundation of my mum saying that she loved me as I am, and that I am great as I am. Desirability politics is something that I&#8217;ve struggled with a lot, and my journey of my sexuality. I feel that I&#8217;m still on that journey \u2013 it doesn&#8217;t really stop. I think I saw a quote from the model and activist <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/munroebergdorf\/?hl=en\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Munroe Bergdorf<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that said, \u201cSexuality is a journey\u201d, and it is, for everyone.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s definitely hard to move through the world as a dark-skinned Black woman and love yourself, and to not feel that you&#8217;re being shunned for things that don&#8217;t really make sense. So that&#8217;s definitely been a struggle of mine. I know that it has been a feature of my relationships as well, because how much you love yourself will affect how much you can love other people, or how much you can show up for them. You can&#8217;t pour from an empty cup. Then also, having been brought up by a strong, dark-skinned Black woman, and seeing the love that she gives and receives, it helps to be able to think back to that and say, \u201cNo, you do deserve this, and it is possible for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p><blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We all love in different ways<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><figure id=\"attachment_17057\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-17057\" style=\"width: 1325px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-17057\" src=\"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/1x1-7.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1325\" height=\"1325\" srcset=\"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/1x1-7.jpg 1325w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/1x1-7-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/1x1-7-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/1x1-7-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/1x1-7-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1325px) 100vw, 1325px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-17057\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photography by @mylothecreative<\/figcaption><\/figure><p><b>How do you navigate the politicised nature of love and desire as a Black woman?<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s very difficult to navigate. I have conversations with other Black women who feel the same, and I think that feeling that I have some kind of solidarity in what I am going through, although it doesn&#8217;t take it away, it at least validates my experience and what is happening. So I think again, just focusing on those foundational relationships, and the other pillars of who you are and how you love. Then having blind faith and hoping that if you just continue moving forward, knowing your worth and what you deserve, then love will come to you eventually. When it comes to love, I don&#8217;t want to be 90 years old in a nursing home, but I also don&#8217;t want to take what is not for me just to feel something.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-23a0e68 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"23a0e68\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-042e76d\" data-id=\"042e76d\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1ba40a7 elementor-aspect-ratio-169 elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"1ba40a7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.youtube.com\\\/watch?v=25ckVR5mjl8&amp;t=116s&quot;,&quot;play_on_mobile&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;autoplay&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;lazy_load&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;aspect_ratio&quot;:&quot;169&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.6.6 - 08-06-2022 *\/\n.elementor-widget-video .elementor-widget-container{overflow:hidden;-webkit-transform:translateZ(0);transform:translateZ(0)}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-open-inline .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;background-size:cover;background-position:50%}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay{cursor:pointer;text-align:center}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay:hover .elementor-custom-embed-play i{opacity:1}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay img{display:block;width:100%}.elementor-widget-video .e-hosted-video .elementor-video{-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover}<\/style>\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-fit-aspect-ratio elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-48f53a5 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"48f53a5\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-de77f62\" data-id=\"de77f62\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1073530 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"1073530\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 700;\">Why is it important to promote alternative visions of love?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p>You can&#8217;t only show one type of love because love doesn&#8217;t exist in one form. First of all, we&#8217;re all different people, we all have different experiences, so we all love in different ways. Also, there are different types of love. Everyone&#8217;s most important type of love is different, if that makes sense. To certain people it\u2019s romantic relationships, for others it&#8217;s family, and for some it&#8217;s friends. So I think it&#8217;s really vital to highlight that all of these kinds of love are important, because different things matter to different people. Also, visibility saves lives. I think that being able to see that a certain type of love is possible, could help someone to not feel hopeless.<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: bolder;\">Read More:&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/tatyana-alanis\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Tatyana Alanis Tries Everything<\/a><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Model, podcaster and girlswillbeboys founder Char Ellesse discusses love in new Community in Conversation series.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":17055,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17030"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17030"}],"version-history":[{"count":33,"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17030\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17109,"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17030\/revisions\/17109"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17055"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17030"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17030"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/everpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17030"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}